Drawing makes me good!

Things are not going as I was expecting them to go... NONE of them, NONE! And when I wake up happy and nervous and excited, thinking I'll get some good news, they fail... I fail. First I stay quiet, deep in silence looking at the floor or some distant dot in a wall; then, anger rise up until my neck and start getting all red. After that I just stop talking, walk away and start drawing with the music during my way home.
I learnt from last year that crying for this kind of shit doesn't work, it makes it worse... No, now I just let everything rise until my neck, turn red and walk away so I can draw a bit. Drawing makes me feel so good! Thanks.
That shit happened again today (two times in a week, I should be destroyed...) and my friends immediately told me to calm down... poor them, worried...
In order of WHAT am I going to do about all that shit (and the rest that is still coming) I don't know what to do. I'll do my best -as I was uselessly doing all this time- and if it comes everything wrong again I'll turn red and walk away silently every time until Holidays arrive to save my sanity. That's all, there's nothing more I can do...

One more thing, I'm no longer freaking out for Eclipse's release... my trying of NOT crying or anything ruined it. Sorry.

Now... gotta go and paint a bit, I have a LOT to do for tomorrow but I'm fed up for today, really fed up, so I won't die to finish everything.

Today I learnt: Drawing on the bus is so much fun!
XOXO
Safi




PS: Thanks for reading my complains... this is the only place for me to do so.

Rain rain rain...

Well, bad mood and depress are gone... I think. Nah, yeah, they're definitely gone! And thanks to Aslan, I'm smiling and happy and with a bit of more energy to do stuff or maybe just go on. What helped?? Well, mostly the freedom to have some free-bad mood time for a while and let it go slowly, but let it show and not keep it inside as I've been doing this whole time... is good to do sometime, it makes you feel lighter then. What else?? Music helped too, friends, buying the ticket to go to the FANtastiCON next Saturday, watch the new HP & DH trailer (OMRowling!!!!), family and gym... definitely gym helped a lot!!

Argentina 1- Nigeria 0
Not as much as I expected from the match but... hell I liked the team!!! They played like a real argentinian team, with heart and soul! ^^ Part of them, the rest of their soul and heart are waiting for the finals!!! :P

What else?? Oh, right, IT'S RAINING!!! So, I'm inmediately going to draw and read and then watch a movie!! ^^ Nice weekend I'm having... what about you??

Today I've learn: Maradona can do nice things! ^^

XOXO
Safi

Rollercoaster

It is important to hold a smile or keep going when you're in bad times, it's when it worth and counts as real smiles and real efforts. But... what if I don't want to smile? What if I don't care to look happy all the freaking time anymore? Or just make believe I'm always cheerful?
Well, I'm fed up. I'm tired of rutine, of my fake smile this past week when what I really wanted to do is shout and run away; I'm tired of studying when I want to make and do so many other things I couldn't during summer. Oh, shit, tired of not sleeping well at nights because I dream too much and I wake up tired and sweaty like I've been in a battle or something.
I'm so tired and fed up.


But then they show up. They come down at the exact time they should, like angels, and relief me of some of my... rubbish. They appear and make me smile and relax and stop thinking so much... And I won't say who they are just in case I ruin something magic going on with them and me, and this precise moment to make me cheer a bit. I'll just say: THANK YOU!!

Today I've learn: I'm not obliged to be happy all the time, I'm allowed to be blue. XOXO
Safi

PS: I'm a bit better, thank you very much!