It is important to hold a smile or keep going when you're in bad times, it's when it worth and counts as real smiles and real efforts. But... what if I don't want to smile? What if I don't care to look happy all the freaking time anymore? Or just make believe I'm always cheerful?
Well, I'm fed up. I'm tired of rutine, of my fake smile this past week when what I really wanted to do is shout and run away; I'm tired of studying when I want to make and do so many other things I couldn't during summer. Oh, shit, tired of not sleeping well at nights because I dream too much and I wake up tired and sweaty like I've been in a battle or something.
I'm so tired and fed up.
But then they show up. They come down at the exact time they should, like angels, and relief me of some of my... rubbish. They appear and make me smile and relax and stop thinking so much... And I won't say who they are just in case I ruin something magic going on with them and me, and this precise moment to make me cheer a bit. I'll just say: THANK YOU!!
Today I've learn: I'm not obliged to be happy all the time, I'm allowed to be blue. XOXO
PS: I'm a bit better, thank you very much!